Helping Children Manage Anger With Control

Feb 18, 2016 by

Anger management isn’t just for adults. Children often have a difficult time managing their anger. To them, it feels as if the emotions they experience are bigger than they are. It’s important for adults to teach children proper anger management techniques so that they can apply them as they get older. Yet, it is also important to remember that they are children and may not understand some of the terminology that adults understand. Use the tips below to help your child manage his or her anger.

Consider Control

One of the things that causes high levels of anger in individuals is a lack of control. Whether it’s because they hear the word “no” or can’t get their message across, the loss of control can create negative feelings. This is especially true for children because they have very limited control over anything in their environment even in the best of situations. Therefore, it is important to help children focus on the control they do have in order to reduce the sensation of negative feelings. Helping your child to understand anger management can benefit them throughout their lives. 

Remove Stimuli

When a child is angry, he or she already feels overwhelmed. Loud noises or other people in the room can add to this feeling. Turn off the television and ask others to leave the room or be quiet. The idea is to reduce the environmental stimuli so that the child only has to deal with the emotions and situation at hand. It isn’t just about eliminating sounds either. Children who are upset and have an audience may try an elicit a response from the audience.

Offer Options

When a parent says “You have to clean your room, ok?” you are in essence asking the child if it is alright for them to do what you ask. What happens when the child responds with a negative answer? You offered them that option. Instead, offer them realistic options. By doing this, you offer them some level of control. Instead of asking if it’s okay, Tell them the options that they have to choose from. For instance, you might say that they have the choice of cleaning their room or sitting in time out. They can then choose what to do, without any emotions involved.

Children operate under the very basic premise of cause and effect. If a tantrum ends with them getting what they want, they will have a tantrum every time they want something. The key is to teach them that inappropriate behaviors are not allowed by showing them how to control themselves and make choices that get them closer to what they want. you might also consult a professional to learn about specific anger management techniques that are age appropriate for your child.